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Posts Tagged ‘consciousness’

This is a very simple video that speaks volumes to me. The simple imagery of life stirs up SO many unanswered questions within myself.

We can only can find the answers for ourselves… but this book is thought provoking; both in the questions it poses and the answers it presents to some of those questions.

It is up to us to verify the answers for ourselves… but it all begins with reflection. Life is something worth pondering upon!

(An awesome book, a winner of the Best Books 2009 Awards according to the Book Review site USA Book News. You can purchase it on Amazon, however it is soon to be available as an ebook for free download!)

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Would you rather live in a world where there was no poverty, starvation, war, murder…. wouldn’t you rather live in peace?

I think peace begins with the individual. As individuals, we may think we can’t change the state of the world. But we can bring about a positive change in our own life, and in our relationships with the people in our lives. We can lead a more peaceful, spiritual life, and together we can change the state of the world. This change begins internally, when we change ourselves.

Society is simply a sum of the individuals in it. It is a reflection of who we are, and what we have inside of ourselves. The lack of peace in the world is a reflection of the lack of peace inside the people of the world.

Most would say they are peaceful people, and are not responsible for the worlds problems and atrocities. I used to say this myself; “Hey I’m one of the nice people!” But when I observe myself, I find there are many negative subconscious states inside me, anger, greed, ill-will etc. For example, the people I love most (my family, partner etc) have a knack for pushing my buttons and I can get frustrated and even angry at them, usually feeling bad about it afterwards. I have greed: I often eat WAY too much on Christmas Day feeling positively ill afterwards. I have been known to get impatient in peak hour traffic when I am running late. If someone does me wrong I can turn downright nasty, even if it is just me replaying the scene in my head with what I would like to have said or done to that person…. I could go on and on. All these states are a far cry from ‘peace’ within.

Now these may seem like harmless things, far from engaging in war and killing people. But we all have these negative states inside of us, and given the right circumstances, these subconscious states are what drive these global atrocities.

To find peace we need to change, we need to eliminate these negative subconscious states within, and increase our consciousness. If people can change themselves, then the whole world can change, because society is just a sum of the people in it.

I really do believe change does begin with the individual, and permanent lasting world peace is dependent on the changes we as individuals make. This is why I am trying to change.

Here are some very insightful talks about the state of the world today and the state of humanity, with some chilling statistics that really make you think.

Wouldn’t you rather live in peace?

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Faith from a Gnostics’ point of view has nothing to do with merely believing, but knowing through experience.

“Genuine faith is living knowledge, exact cognition, direct experience. For many centuries faith and belief have been confused, and now it takes great effort and exertion to make people understand that faith is true knowledge and not futile beliefs.”

Samael Aun Weor

Not long before I left for the USA, I was talking with my Gnostic teacher (and mentor) while at a mutual friend’s engagement celebration.

He spoke about this very thing; the importance of practice and verifying the teachings through direct experience, as opposed to holding onto arbitrary beliefs and concepts. I was moving to a far away place with no Gnostic Center close by, and he told me that it would be my direct experience of Gnosis that would get me through when times got tough and my faith would be challenged.

It reminded me of what Jesus was referring to in his parable about building your house (your spiritual work) on rock (experience) and not sand (belief) in Matthew 7:24-27;

7:24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

7:25 And the rain descended, and the floods came,  and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

7:26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:

7:27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.


My teacher also spoke about the importance of continuing to investigate. All too often he had seen students gain some direct experience of the teachings, and then stop pushing to investigate further. The incipient experience they gained only served to re-enforce their beliefs, tricking them into complacency thinking they already ‘knew’ (when in fact they actually had verified very little); their work built upon a weak foundation.

He said even if experiences are very clear and profound when they occur, with time they become distant memories, they lose their impact and begin to fade. It’s the way the mind and memory works. The more distant the experience, the more it loses strength and the mind can even begin to doubt it. He had seen countless students walk away from the work because of a lack of continued investigation, despite the initial esoteric pearls they had received.

He was very solemn when he reflected upon them. He spoke of one of Samael’s books where he had written that such people suffer for the rest of their lives from an intense uneasiness as their essence continues to long for the light while their egos mutiny against it.

He said that having had the experiences he himself had gained through Gnosis and knowing what he did up to that point, he could hardly imagine how horrible it would be to bury all that experience deep down inside so as to convince yourself that it wasn’t real, leaving yourself to battle your conscience every day for the rest of your life. As he spoke, his face was full of compassion and sadness.

At the time part of me wondered if he was referring to past students alone; I had the feeling he somehow had some knowledge of what the future held, and wondered if some of that compassion may have been for me.

Now when I reflect back, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did have some insight into what lay ahead.  But if so, rather than for me, I think I now realize who his compassion was for.

“And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.” ~ Jesus.

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This photo is of the lake at the back of our house. Last night I projected there by visualizing it!

There are several different ways of getting into the astral and having a conscious out-of-body experience (if you are not familiar with OBEs or astral travel, read this).

With some techniques, you can project out of your body and directly into the room that you are in. Or you can learn how to wake up in a dream (and I don’t mean to have a lucid dream where you become aware of the fact you are dreaming, but to actually ‘wake up’ from a dream and find yourself consciously in the astral). Another way is to visualize a place, and if you can hold that visualization as you fall to sleep you can project directly to that place.

I rarely have any success with this technique of visualization, but last night I was actually able to visualize the lake at the back of my house and project directly there for the first time!

Earlier in the evening I had gone for an ‘awareness walk’ around the lake. I focused with all my might to be in awareness of the present moment; feeling the cool air on my skin, opening up my hearing to all the sounds of the evening, looking at the beautiful scenery before me, feeling each step and noticing the texture of the ground I was walking on – using all of my 5 senses to anchor myself in the present moment and escape the relentless thinking of the mind. If thoughts came and took me away, I would let them go and focus on the present moment again.

I really made a lot of effort to be conscious and aware, and it obviously paid off! Later that night in bed, after a couple of hours of sleep I woke up and turned over, when I caught myself thinking and the thoughts beginning to appear as dream images in my mind. Because I had been pushing for awareness earlier, my consciousness was active enough for me to gain awareness of the dream images before I had fallen into a full-on dream. So I seized the opportunity and started to purposely visualize my earlier walk around the lake. I tried to incorporate all my senses into my visualization and re-create in my mind the walk in as much vividness as I could, and to really put myself in the scene. Before long, I actually merged into the visualization, and I WAS in the scene – actually walking around the lake at the back of our place!

It was pretty cool. I took a little jump and started floating in the air, then came down and continued walking around the lake. It was just beautiful. I actually had planned to investigate some specific things the next time I got out-of-body, but I was so taken with how lovely it felt to just be in the astral that moment in that beautiful scene, I just walked around and took it all in!

Actually, I think I may go for another awareness walk right now….

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I love the sky. It is so beautiful, like a giant canvas; a stunning piece of art-work that is forever shifting and changing… the deep blues… the brilliant colors of the sunrises and sunsets… the soft clouds… the shimmering moon and sparkling stars on the backdrop of night… lightning bursts bringing the sky to life… the sky, always amazing, always changing.

I often look at the sky and contemplate. That piece of sky that I am looking at in that moment will never be the same again…in the next moment, the view as I saw it will be gone forever, something that can never be witnessed again as I had witnessed it. Sometimes that thought just seems kind of profound. It’s like receiving a priceless gift in return for simply paying attention.

I like to be still and just watch the sky; to watch the clouds slowly drift above me. If I really ground myself in the present moment, it feels like I step right out of time, and as I watch the clouds drift by it’s like I am witnessing time drift by. And the clouds never stop moving. Like time, it never stops. Slowly, constantly drifting by. To step out of it and whiteness this can feel surreal.

There is a lot to learn from the sky, I find anyway. How rarely do we even look up and notice it? Yet to do so at times can be profound. Try it. Look up, be aware, and pay attention, and take it in. It’s a feeling that I can’t really describe.   It’s just beautiful.

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Thanksgiving has just past – my very first one here in America!

In Australia we don’t celebrate this holiday, as this is traditionally an American holiday based on American Indian appreciation and to give thanks to God for the harvest and express gratitude to others for our many blessings.

This is an interesting and very worthwhile thing to do – to give thanks to God for our many blessings. But what does it mean to give thanks to God? How do we show we our gratitude and appreciation all that we have been given in life? Do we think about God? Do we pray?

For me, to really show gratitude for this life and everything in it is to live in the present moment, to really live. By this I mean to open up all of our five senses and really take in all that is life.

For example; when we eat our meals (Thanksgiving or otherwise), to be present and conscious as we do so; savoring the flavor, the taste, the texture, and being present for all of it. How often do we eat on the fly? Quickly scoffing something down so we can move onto the next task. Perhaps we consume our food in a total daydream, completely unaware and sometimes even surprised when we find our plate already empty before we even knew it – or we find ourselves so full that we could burst, because weren’t present enough to realize we should have stopped long ago. Maybe we eat while we are doing something else, like watching TV or being in front of the computer, and do so in an unconscious mechanical fashion. Where is the gratitude in that?

Or when we walk down the street – to be present and aware, taking in everything around us – to see the trees and hear the sound the leaves make as the wind moves through them – to feel the wind and the sun against our skin, to look into the eyes of passers by and smile, feeling love for humanity. To me this is gratitude. How often do we rush from place to place, lost in our thoughts and paying no attention to the reality around us? How often is the destination more important than the journey? How often do we really look? Listen? Feel? Smell? Because if we don’t, where is the gratitude in that? We often take for granted these simple things, but these simple things are SO valuable and should be savored. Just ask the blind man, or the man in a wheel-chair, or the man confined to prison.

When we take a shower which can be such a wonderful pleasure, how present are we? To feel the water running over our skin, to take in the scent of the soap and to really feel the texture of the lather over us, to really enjoy every moment of this luxury… or do we spend our time thinking about all we have on for the day, about what we are going to wear, replaying conversations we had the day before, fantasizing about conversations we should have had or are going to have, stuck in a daydream of thoughts.

We are given this amazing life, but just how present are we for it? How are we living it?

For me, showing gratitude is to live in awareness, to be present and conscious of everything around us and of every precious moment; making the effort to break free of the perpetual daydream that clouds us from reality and to really live this precious life we have been given.

Prayer is a wonderful thing, but if we just forget ourselves after we have given thanks to the Divine for what we have, and don’t pay attention to this precious moment we are in, then it seems to me we are not following through on our words, and our words are just empty.

I believe this is what giving thanks is all about – not just giving it, but living it too!

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crossreflectionEaster is one of the most significant events in the Christian calendar, and it is a spiritual and reflective time for many people throughout the world.

This rings particularly true for me. Easter is a profoundly significant time both personally and spiritually to me.

My Mother was killed on Easter Saturday, 12 years ago. She just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was visiting a good friend of hers to give easter eggs to her children. This friend had ended a relationship with a man some two weeks prior, and it just happened to be the day that this man turned up at her house with a gun.

My entire world collapsed that day. I will never forget when the police arrived to tell us what had happened to our mother. My brother and I were still teenagers at the time. Words simply cannot describe how horrendously painful that time of our lives was.

One of the saddest times for me was about a week or so after the funeral, when all the flowers died. All week, the house had been filled with the perfume of beautiful bright bouquets and cards of well wishes and it was comforting.

But then all the flowers wilted and died.

And I threw them out, and the house was empty and bare.

And the phone stopped ringing.

And the world moved on.

But my world was left in pieces.

When a significant tragedy occurs in your life, you really stop and question many things. I had always been spiritually inclined, even as a child I would ponder things like why I was here? What was the point of life? What happens when you die? What is beyond this life? But when something like this happens, you ponder these things profoundly.

Why did this happen? Why Mum? Why me? Where did she go? Does she even exist anymore? What’s the point of even living? Do you just die and then it’s all over, that’s it? Why even bother? Why, why, why?

I had no answers to these questions, and in the months (even years) following her death I spiraled into a dark depression. I developed post traumatic stress disorder, and at night I would be gripped with irrational fear that someone was going to come into my bedroom and shoot me. Sometimes this was accompanied by auditory hallucinations of footsteps coming up the hallway, it was terrifying. In the few hours when I would finally fall to sleep, I was plagued with horrific nightmares.

The worst part was waking up in the mornings. When you wake up there is a few seconds of peace as you transition from the dream world to the physical world… but then it hits you – you remember she is dead, and it’s like experiencing the loss all over again, every single time you wake up.

I turned to drugs and alcohol to try to escape the pain and sadness inside me. I didn’t want to live anymore, and wished that I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I thought about suicide a lot, and the only reason I didn’t do it was my belief in reincarnation; I figured I must be here for a reason, and if I was to kill myself before I actualized that reason, then I would be brought back again to re-live these experiences (or their equivalent) until I ‘got it’. Well I couldn’t bare the thought of having to endure this pain from the beginning all over again, so that wasn’t an option for me.

This was the beginning of a turning point in my life. I had became so disillusioned with this physical world that it forced me to take a serious look at what was beyond it – to yearn for understanding, to be able to make sense of this nonsensical existence. It was the beginning of my true spiritual yearning.

They say everything happens for a reason, and I am a firm believer in that. But I don’t just want to believe, I want to, need to, fully understand and comprehend – I need to know the reason. I need to know why.

Things eventually got better, slowly. I got better. I got stronger. I moved on, just like the rest of the world had.

And then some years later, I found Gnosis. This changed everything. Finally, I was given the tools to be able to get the answers I had been yearning for. I learned about astral travel and started to have out-of-body experiences, directly verifying that I am more than just this physical body. It’s one thing to believe something, but it is a whole other thing to experience it and know for certain, it completely changes your perspective.

I started to learn about death, and have directly verified part of what happens when we die by investigating my mother’s death in the astral realm (you can read about that experience here). After that experience I understood the attachment I had to my mother’s personality, which is only a temporary thing, and I was able to let go of that attachment to her completely and truly move on. (Attachment in itself is still something I have yet to conquer, but I gave me an understanding that will help me to get there).

I know the Divine exists – I have had direct experiences with my Divine Parents and have received spiritual teachings in the astral – direct personal spiritual teachings, not something preached to me in a church that I must ‘believe’ in.

I have been given the tools to eliminate negativity within myself – those dark days of depression and sadness that crippled me need never do so again. I am no longer a victim of life’s circumstances; now I now know how to use life’s events to my advantage to change what is within myself. I am a long way from eliminating these aspects of my psyche completely, but now I know how to fight them, and it is SO liberating to not be a helpless victim to them.

I have learned a lot about myself, what is within me, about my psyche; my consciousness and my subconscious. I realize that for most of my waking life I am asleep (psychologically speaking), and I have learned what I need to do to ‘wake up’.

And I know why I am here. I know my purpose. Life is completely transformed when you know the point of it all.

All this, and I have barely begun to scratch the surface. There is SO much more to life than just this physical world which we temporarily find ourselves in. Just think; in 200 years from now, everything you hold close to you will be gone. Every person that is in your life now, your family, your friends, the people you love, your children and grandchildren, even your enemies, will have died. Everything you own and value will be gone, and everything you think is important in your life right now will be irrelevant. This physical world is transient, it doesn’t last. There is much more to life than just this.

So, it is Easter once again. Time keeps moving on, and each year seems to be passing faster. I have a lot to reflect on, both in terms of where I have come from, and where I am going. While I now know my life’s purpose, I have a lot of work to do get there. And time won’t wait for me. I have come a long way, but I still have a long way to go.

This is what I am reflecting on this Easter.

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