Archive for February, 2009

christ5Despite my family being non-religious and us never going to church, as a young child I had much love for God and Jesus. I didn’t intellectually analyze what or who God or Jesus were, they just were, I just felt felt love for them. I felt this love went both ways too. It was simple, and it was pure. I can’t remember who explained them to me, maybe it was Mum, or maybe it was religious instruction at primary school. But I remember the feeling.

One Easter when it was way past my bedtime, Dad fell asleep on the couch and in glee I stayed up to watch T.V. Being Easter there was a movie on about Jesus (it was probably Jesus of Nazareth, I’m not sure). Anyway what started off as glee turned to horror as I watched what we did to him and how he suffered on the cross – up until then I knew ‘he died for our sins’ but I had no clue we tortured and murdered him. I was absolutely mortified and traumatized by it, I felt so much shame for the human race and what we had done. I cried about it for days, and I remember Mum’s frustration at Dad for being “irresponsible” and letting me see that movie when I should have been in bed.

As I grew up though, I slowly lost that loving feeling, and the word ‘Christ’ began to represent something to almost be ashamed of. It certainly wasn’t ‘cool’ to be Christian put it that way. All the Christians I came across were a very peculiar type of people – they would preach about sin and heaven and hell, yet they themselves were some of the most judgmental, unforgiving people I had ever met. Often they were extremely fanatical about their faith, even aggressive about it, and the term “Christian” became tainted for me.

I began to question the Orthodox view of God and Christ, things just didn’t add up. How is it fair that these individuals who called themselves ‘Christian’, who were such horrible people underneath their preaching, go to heaven because they went to church on Sundays to be forgiven for their sins, when others of different faith would go to hell, no matter what they were like inside? They could be saints and the door would be shut to them. Where is the love in that? That just didn’t make sense! That wasn’t the God or Jesus I loved as a child, and eventually I turned my back on them, just as one dismisses Santa Clause when you discover he was never real in the first place.

But in recent years I have began to learn a different view of what ‘Christ’ actually is, different to what is portrayed in mainstream Orthodox Christianity. And the teachings of Jesus now make a whole lot more sense in this new context.

To truly live without sin is to eliminate it within, to fundamentally change. It is not enough to outwardly act a certain way if within you there is negativity, hatred, judgment, anger, frustration and so on. These negative aspects need to be removed so that the truly spiritual can manifest in their place.

Many people consider themselves ‘spiritual people’ and ‘good people’ or even ‘Christian’, however if they were to observe what is actually within themselves, they would be horrified by the harsh reality of who they really are. You can profess to love Christ all you like, but in those moments of negativity towards another human being (and we all have those moments) what is manifesting is far from spiritual.

By observing ourselves, we can see this harsh reality, and we can begin to change. With the help of the Divine, we can eliminate these negative aspects and increase our capacity for love, peace and to truly experience the Divine. But we cannot change what we cannot see.

The Christ is a Divine force that can live within. Jesus had this force within him and was teaching us how we could incarnate this force within ourselves, how we can change and become truly spiritual people. And what I am talking about goes far beyond simply going to church or ‘believing’ in God or Jesus.

“Now, since it has been said that you are my twin and true companion, examine yourself, and learn who you are, in what way you exist, and how you will come to be. Since you are called my brother, it is not fitting that you be ignorant of yourself … For he who has not known himself has known nothing, but he who has known himself has at the same time already achieved knowledge about the depth of the all.”


The Nag Hammadi Library


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My parents weren’t overly religious, although Mum started going to church shortly before she died. Dad always considered himself an atheist, but as his mortality becomes more apparent with age, the discomfort of this belief has rendered him more open-minded than he used to be.

Me, well I have always been searching for spiritual truth. Since I can remember I have questioned the ‘hows’, ‘whats’ and ‘whys’ of the universe… How did I come to be here? Why me, why was I created? What’s the point of life? What is beyond this life? I have pondered these and countless similar questions right through childhood to adulthood.

I’ve looked for the answers in a myriad of places. I never quite found it in mainstream Christianity (in fact some of the least ‘Christian’ people I know are avid church-goers). And while I’ve always leaned more toward God and Jesus than anything else (being a white girl raised in a western society), the concept of ‘faith’ in the traditional Christian sense never really sat well with me. It never made sense that you could be the most sinful person on earth, but so long as you ‘believed’ in Jesus and asked for forgiveness before you died you’d go to heaven, where as everyone else who didn’t would go to hell. And you just have to have ‘faith’ that this was the truth and that was enough. Well it was not enough for me – I had to know.

I explored a few other religions as well; Hinduism took my fancy for a while and I read with great enjoyment the Mahābhārata and the Bhagavad Gītā. I looked into Buddhism and Islam which had some concepts I liked. I read a wide range of authors, from Richard Bach to Neale Donald Walsch to Erchart Tolle. I took a bit of this and a bit of that, and started to form my own beliefs from a myriad of concepts. But, something was missing. I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. I had filled my head with a lot of ideas, but in reality I was no better off than when I started.

This video talks about the difficulties we face when searching for spiritual truth today. How do we find the truth amongst everything that is out there? When mainstream religion and out-dated traditions don’t give us what we are yearning for, how do we find true spirituality, and not charlatanism? Spirituality that leads to the awakening of the consciousness and to enlightenment?

The answer is we find it within ourselves, if we practice it properly. I feel so blessed to be learning how…

More videos at Belsebuub.com

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